A new season

They say that insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. It's that's the case then I suppose you could call me insane....

I have been doing alot of "soul searching," praying and thinking lately and I have found that I am not living my life in a healthy way. I have been surrounding myself with negative people, I have been consuming my time with unproductive things, and filled my head with negative thoughts.

Although I love my Kensington grace and my sweet Roy boy more then life Itself they have got the leftovers of my heart. I have spent my life giving here giving there making sure that I haven't made this person upset, making sure that this person has everything they need. Making sure my clients can get in for that last minute color and every sunday school position is filled. I have been filling everyone's cups so full that i have only had drops left to give to those that are the most near and dear to me.

I don't know why I do this. I have a very large fear of confrontation so I don't often face it. More then half my life I have just done what others want because it avoids a fight and then I don't get the full beauty that I deserve. I am a people pleaser at its finest.

I have had multiple conversations with people close to be saying "why do you do that?" "You need to stop" i also have to add that I have some people in my life who give to me over and over and I am so busy pleasing others I haven't had the time to add a little to their cup.

There is a bitchy quote that I just love that says "I am making some changes in my life...if you don't hear from me your one of them!" I don't know who wrote it originally but I envy them! I have often told Roy that I want to move away just to have a fresh start! To clear the slate of the friends and family we have that suck the life out of me. I know it's running away but who cares? I have also had friends that turn into a hermit and just then their phone off the moment they get into the door from work. They don't log on to any social media and they spend their weekends in Jammie's with their families. I also wish this was an option for me but my job literally requires me to be social. My mops volunteering requires me to have my dreaded addiction, Facebook, although I have decided I think it is the single most unhealthy thing for me.

I have to meet in the middle somewhere. I keep saying that this is it! This is the end! I am putting my foot down! But we all know that isn't my personality. I think it's the small Daily changes I need to work on. I need to learn how to show respect for my husband again. In my heart I respect him right up next to Jesus but the words that come out of my mouth and the tone I use you would never know it. And dang that man has been patient the last 2 years. - I need to turn off the tv, set my phone down and don't run to it every time my text or fb notification goes off. I need to get my house, my car, my planner and my life organized. Not spotless because that will not happen till my kids are gone, but enough that I am not frantic every time I need to leave the house. I need to pray...ALOT more! I want to feel Jesus again and know that I am doing a good job. I want to be his hands and feet again. I want to raise my hands above my head in worship the way I used to when I was single and had nothing to loose and did not care who was looking. I want to rock my baby to sleep and stare Into those beautiful blue eyes that I KnOW my daddy had something to do with. And I want to cuddle up next to my handsome hubs and fall asleep in his arms.

When I am laying in my death bed I won't be thinking "oh I hope I didnt make my family mad...I hope I did everything my friends wanted me too" I am going to say was I a good wife and a good mother?

I want to do all these things without care of impressing others knowing that my husband and my daughters cups are so full that they are overflowing and in return mine will be filled. I don't want to be so concerned about my clients having the last minute hair apt that they just HAD To have, if my friends keep saying how bad they want to see us they can call and come over anytime, I don't want to worry about if my inlaws like me and if I am making sure I am doing things right, if I am there enough for my family being a good enough daughter, sister, or aunt. I am just exhausted. Emotionally, spiritually, physically. It's finally time to make the baby steps and start a new season one day at a time!

cake for breakfast

This week has been a mix between God testing me and Satan trying to kill me. It was supposed to be an awesome week with out anniversary, a trip to the melting pot, an awesome potluck and a leadership training with my mops girls, a fun weekend with our family and an overnight romantic getaway to denver.

Reality is a HORRIBLE ear infection. Kensington has officially had a temp since monday morning. I could cry...in fact I have. As if watching my sweet baby suffer isnt bad enough, Our anniversary was a mess, there was a huge blizzard that closed down the town, I had to rearrange a full weeks worth of clients, and here we are almost 5 days later, 2 trips to the dr, 4 medicines and my poor baby is still 102*

HOW MUCH CAN I TAKE?????

daycare says she has to be fever free for 24 hours so i canceled all my appointments again for tomorrow. Our reservations for melting pot were moved till tomorrow, but I feel guilty for even going even if she is with grandma. Our denver trip is off partially because i missed a weeks pay and partially because I dont want to be without her when she is just overcoming this nasty crap.

I dont know what to do.

So here is my first RANT of a blog. Please dont give me ear infection advice i can assure you i have tried it all. My baby is now crying AGAIN so i better go stick my boob in her mouth since its the only thing that works.

Did i mention i am an emotional eater and i had cake for breakfast? and a cupcake...ok 2...for dinner? not that im complaining....

2.

2 year ago today I stood before God and 400 of our family members and friends and said my vows to the ever so handsome Roy Weber.

 We had the perfect anniversary planned. Even though we promised not to get each other gifts I had the tool, drill set he wanted with a large bow, an oh-so-funny card that said it just right, reservations at the melting pot, and a babysitter!!!! Woohoo!!!!

Reality: Kensington has an ear infection :-( (and if this isn't teething then I would prefer for her to just not get any), the weather man called for 18 inches and of course was right this time, and roads are all closed!

So...we ordered Chinese food take out, lit a bath and body works candle and had romantic music from Beauty and the Beast playing in the living room.

What more could you ask for?

And yes there were flowers :-)

Transformation Tuesday! (Not for the faint of heart!)

73 lbs down....12 to go. Bring it on!

Dave Ramsey/Joe Sangl Basics

As soon as our tax return arrives we will be officially DEBT FREE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(besides the house) In the last 2 1/2 years we have Followed Joe Sangl and Dave Ramseys financial plan (as close as we could) and have paid off a total of $51,900.00. Both of those men dont consider a home "debt" although its very encouraged to pay that off early as well, and we fully intend to!

People have asked us how we have done it and I have given a brief overview but I promised to go into further detail of exactly how its done!

The first thing to understand is that we by no means are perfect at this! If we had not strayed from budget multiple times, bought a house, and had a baby we would have and should have been done a LONG time ago, but you HAVE to let yourself live!! You can not give up life while on a budget, and thats the Glorious part of HAVING a budget! If you want to buy clothes..GREAT...budget it! If you want to go out to eat....WONDERFUL...budget it. If you want to go on a vacation every year..YOU SHOULD..BUDGET IT!!!! Budgets are not meant to slow you down, they are meant to LET YOU LIVE! Can you tell I am "fired up" about this as Joe says?

Ok, so how do you make a budget? I am going to use an imaginary income, and imaginary bill figures to show you exactrly how to do this. There is a tool to go to that can help you do this if its easier! Its  on Josephsangl.com to to TOOLS then BUDGET. he has TONS of fun tools to help! Say you make $3,000 a month total income. List your bills! We have a budget notebook where we do this every month the day before pay day!

Giving to the church: $300
(let me pause here to tell you that I BELIEVE in titheing. Because its GODS MONEY, not yours, but thats another blog for another time)
Rent/Mortgage: $850
Utilities: $100
Car payment $320
Credit card 1 $50
Credit card 2 $20
Cell phone $90
insurance $75
cable $95

(you get the idea) Now lets add that up!: $1,900. GREAT! so we have $1,100 for spending right? WRONG! that 1,100 needs to be divided very smartly!what else do we spend our money on?

Groceries $300
Gas $250
Eating out$100
clothing $50
Blow money(allowance) $200 (if you do not give yourself blow money every month you WILL go over your budget! This is for the extras that always seem to come up)

ok what are we at now? $2,600? Feel free to budget into this ANYTHING that you spend money on. Everyones budgets look a little differnet. You may not have anything left, you may have $400 left. SO now can we spend it? NO! This will go towards our debt snowball. (which we will discuss soon)

We use the envelope system. I really believe this is what had helped us to stay so on track. Anything that we actually spend money on we take cash out and place into differnt envelopes. We have a Gas envelope, one for eating out, one for groceries, one for our blow money, one for everything! This helps us to not just swipe our card not realizing where that money is coming from. We know exactly where every dollar is going before we even get paid.

****Whats that you say? You CANT do a monthly budget because you never know what your going to make? Hunny, you need a budget the MOST!~ i am a hairdresser and NEVER know what my monthly income is going to be! What do I do? I make my budget off the LOWEST amount I am going to make and if I have Extra it goes RIGHT onto to the snowball! Thats one of the reasons we got it done so quick! Living out of your means is just STUPID!****

Dave Ramseys baby step 1 is to put $1,000 in an emergency savings fund. Do not do ANY debt payoff until this is done and then dont TOUCH IT! every other extra dollar is going towards that snowball!

SO now that we are on a montly budget, and we have $1,000 in our emergency savings fund we have the debt snowball. First thing to do is List your debts from lowest to highest!

$20 min payment- credit card -balance $500
$50 min payment-Credit card-balance $700
$100 min payment-Credit card -balance $1600
$90 min payment-student loan-balance $8,700
$95 min payment-student loan-balance 10,000
$320 min payment-car payment-balance $15,000
$450 min payment-car payment- balance $17,500

total:$54,000 (pretty much what we had when we started)


IF YOU DONT STOP USING CREDIT THIS WONT WORK! you have to STOP financing things!!!

First thing you are going to do is squeeze every PENNY you can, work extra, babysit, do WHATEVER you have to do to pay off that $500 balance on that first card. WHEW ok thats done!! Hey look! All of a sudden we have an extra $20 in out monthly budget from that credit card we just paid off. SO you add it to that second credit card! Instead of paying a $50 minimum payment you are now doing a $70 min payment. get it? 20(card one)+50(card two)=70 SO you are now paying $70 a month payments along with every single other penny you can squeeze out of your budget that you have extra after bills. Once thats paid off you move onto the 3rd debt, Credit card 3! 20+50+100=$170. awesome now we get to make $170 payments on our third credit card. The snowball eventually gets faster and faster because your minimum payments are getting SO MUCH BIGGER! $170+90=$260 on the first student loan! yay! Now  when thats paid off you get $260+95= $355 on the second student loan! (this is just the minimum payment!) Once the student loans are knocked out and you are making $675 A MONTH on that first car payment! HOLY COW! After THATS paid off you are making $1,125.00 on your other car payment! that is AWESOME!!!! see how this works?

WHat about interest? shouldnt you pay off the highest interest first? you could, but this works alot better for motivation to keep going when you are knocking out those small things first. And we have done it so you should just do it and not argue! :-)

Anything extra you make put on your debt snowball. Dave ramseys whole motto is "live like no one else, so later you can LIVE LIKE NO ONE ELSE!" We got made fun of so much by our friends and family for this. They hated hearing about it or when we told them we couldnt go out for dinner because our eating out envelope was empty, now we have come this far and we are the ones laughing! This WORKS! If you guys have any other questions I am PASSIONATE about this! I know you can all do it! We paid off almost 52 GRAND on a very modest income and you can do it too! we are not perfect, in fact there is not ONE month we stayed on our budget. But we didnt give up, we kept going! I have Faith that you all can too and you will be sitting here saying "As soon as that check comes in we will be DEBT FREE" and let me tell you guys there is not a better feeling! The #1 cause for marriage problems is MONEY! Now our biggest problem is where we are going on vacation this year!!!

If you have the opportunity to take Dave Ramseys Financial Peace University DO IT! Buy his book! Or Joe Sangl comes to Element Church once a year! that one is FREE! THey will teach you SO much more then I can!

Thanks for reading!

Men and Women are different...no way!?

Roy and I are Dave Ramsey people. Ok, ok, we are obsessed. We have been working out TAILS off and living like we are broke for the last 2 1/2 years trying to pay off all of our debt. thats another blog for another time, but we are SO close i can almost taste it.

      With living like no one else (aka broke) to having a baby and gaining 85...yes you read that right 85 lbs, to not having a regular hairdresser i have been in what is best described as a FUNK for the last year.
 
            The first half of pregnancy I felt so glamorous, so womanly and SO pretty. I had brand new maternity clothes from only the best store, i had the wonderful glow, my hair was long and thick and everywhere i went people ooed and ahhed over me and my new beautiful belly. Then around this time last year, the feet started swelling, the butt started growing, poeple started asking me how many babies i had in there. I had 4 inch roots and those beautiful maternity clothes that i once loved started to tear and fade and had many grease stains from 10-to-many fish filets. I was READY to be done. I was just certain that any day I would have this baby and the breastfeeding which of course i was going to be a natural at would help me loose my weight instantly, I would get my highlights touched up, and be able to shop at the cute stors in the mall again. I would be this BEAUTIFUL mother.

     REALITY! The baby was born, and although she was beautiful she came with a lovely thing called cholic. Now to add to the weight that didnt seem to go away like i thought it would and the faded clothes that i still had to wear i had big black bags under my eyes from no sleep, my 4 inch roots were now 6 inch roots because she was such a hard newborn i couldnt imagine asking one of my friends to watch her let alone take her into a salon where poeple are trying to relax and pamper themselves!

     2 weeks after she was born i took her to mops. i barely even fit into maternity clothes, but got up extra early, slapped some makeup on (extra under the eyes) and dragged myself into the meeting and sat down with 5 or 6 of the most beautiful, put together moms i have ever met. i wanted to crawl inside a hole. i thought "i will NEVER live up to them!" (i couldnt even remember if i had brushed my teeth and here sabrina is passing out "hand cream")

     Then the reflux hit. you all think you know a baby with reflux...you dont KNOW reflux until you have met Kensington Grace! NOW on top of all the above i wore a nice puddle or 5 of puke everywhere i went!

     Here we are 7 1/2 months later. I have been doing weight watchers and have been doing fairly well on it but I kept putting off buying myself nice new clothes and "treating myself" until i get all the weight off! I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!

    My sister janice works at an optical part and has been telling me to come in and get a pair of sunglasses for quite some time now. I went through a thousand excuses! maybe when the car is paid off....maybe as a treat to myself when i loose my weight....there is no way i can justify buying myself expensive sunglasses...thats my whole allowance for the month  ...blah blah blah. Thursday was her birthday and we went to lunch. She once again reminded  me that when i drop her back off at work we should go and look at glasses. So just to be polite i did......and there they were.

    The most beautiful, most perfect, most shiny and blue TIFFANY AND CO AVIATOR SUNGLASSES i have EVER seen!!!!! I knew i shouldnt try them on...just keep walking...but HOW CAN I NOT!?!?!?! i try them on...look in the mirror, and for just a split second in time, i didnt notice the chipotle i spilled on myself while trying to entertain the baby at lunch, i didnt notice my 4 inch roots, i didnt notice the bags under my eyes, i didnt feel like a MOM...i felt like ME...and I...FELT...PRETTY!

     I looked at the price tag $340. THERE WAS NO WAY! So i set them down and tried others on. I kept going back to them. I get a family discount so i asked her...ok how much would my discount be? She pulled out a calculator and did the math and i was SHOCKED. (i wont tell you all because you will be WAY to jealous! i didnt think for one more second i GRABBED MY WALLET! 20 mins later i was driving in my car with those glasses on and the beautiful Robin Egg Blue bag sitting in my passenger seat! I called Roy right away to tell him about my GREAT DEAL!!!! Lets just say he wasnt exactly excited about my purchase.

    The next 2 days i argued in my head back and forth on if i should return them, if it was a good deal or not and fought with my buyers remorse. ALthough i didnt go out of budget it WAS pretty much my whole allowance for the month...but i loved them so much!

   Toniht we were at lowes...we went for a garden hose. I have been working extra lately and though i would treat Roy to some things that he has been  wanting. Just basic starter stuff for a homeowner. I have him $100 and told him to get whatever he needs and he filled our cart with a hose, and a cool hose sprayer, a broom, a shovel, and an extention cord. HE WAS THRILLED. I thought it was kinda silly but he got so much excitment about the silly tools just like he thought my sunglasses were silly.

   well folks..MEN AND WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT. my buyers remorse was GONE. Even if it took a silly purchase to make me feel pretty for just a moment, and it took some garden tools for Roy to feel like our hard work is paying off and his extra hours at his new job are worth it then GREAT! We all need little pick me ups sometime. Im not saying go crazy on your budgets, but maybe think of that silly little thing you said no to and see if maybe you could squeeze it into next months budget. :-) YOU deserve feeling pretty too!

Here we go!

Well, here i am writting a blog. I have thought about starting one for some time now..why am i doing it? Will I keep up, or is this just a one time post attempt to just talk about myself for a small moment.

      Well for one i am a serious facebook ADDICT! I feel the need to post every little detail of my life with the hopes that someone out there cares to listen. This doesnt seem to always be the case, as more friends get upset with the things i choose to share. This way people can decide to catch up with us crazy Webers if they choose to, but dont have to have me clogging up their newsfeed! Plus i cant STAND the political talk in mine.
    Secondly, i feel as though i can sometimes be quite witty, silly, and fun, and i feel like my husband is the only one who gets to enjoy those moments, aka the only one i can annoy with them :-) I continually have so many thoughts out there that I so badly want to share with people but never know a good way of expressing it. We have so many exciting things happen in our life and i want a fun way of our family and friends to know it without having to send out a million text messages, or post it on a social media.
     Thirdly, I need something to do while I pump!

    Rule #1 of this blog is that I have BAD grammer...and I dont care! I have already had to erase a million times to change i to I and this is my blog so we get to break the rules a little bit. Please dont correct me.

I guess this is the part where I should tell the basics of us Webers, the rest will come with time i believe if you havent hit the X on the top of your screen by now.

I am a Christian, a wife, and a mommy, and a hairdresser..in that order! I love my career but believe my true calling is being a wife to my Handsome husband Roy, and i consider it a full time Job kissing my little Kensington Graces belly over and over again to see how many times she can give me that big huge gut busting laugh of hers. (was that a run on sentance?) I am NOT perfect, i am NOT super mom, and i am NOT the best wife or hairdresser ever, and i dont think i am. Although sometimes i do super cute things like make and easter cake in the shape of a Bunny and i expect my friends to "like" the dang thing and dont just roll your eyes thinking i am being a show off or God Forbid COPYING you! If its on pinterest its FAIR GAME!

I am NOT and attachment parent, but i am not the other kind of parent either. I find myself right in the middle of the spectrum. I breastfeed my 7 1/2 month old daughter, but I also feed her jarred baby food and let her lay in her bed and cry 5 mins before she falls asleep (GASP!)

My job is to make people beautiful! Although sometimes I feel like my job is to be at peoples beck and call all day every day to answer the phone and book them an apt because they need their hair cut and colored and thair nails done for a wedding this weekend that they JUST learned they have to attend! Overall my clients bless me. I have been able to use my job as a ministry in some ways because i have been able to invite my clients to church and in return they have been saved! (woop woop)

Last but not least my husband Roy-Boy is the light of my world. He is truley my best friend, and i am not even faking it because this isnt fakebook....I mean facebook! He is so real and true and he will always put me in my place when i need to be and he is always there for me when my "friends" hurt me, which let me tell you, happens WAY too often for "friends."

My life is complete organized chaos. I feel like my house always needs to be clean, i am desperatly trying to nurse my baby till her 1st birthday, I have a million things pinned that I will never get to, we are Dave Ramsey crazies, I cant cook very well...unless it comes out of a box, I want more time with my baby and home but im a proud working momma, we like to go out saturday night and spend our entire sunday at Church..We are just us! whew! there is my life in a nutshell...or a laptop. Stay tuned!